Are you ready for strap-on play?
So your guy wants you to do him up the butt and you’ve never done it before. Alright, I’m game but what do I do? How do I do it? How do I even go about getting the right thing? In the land of confusion we’re here to offer up everything you need to know about strap-ons and how to do your man properly. There no hidden incantation that you need to learn that magically unlocks the back door, you just need a common sense, some patience and a sprinkle of knowledge.
What are you packing or what toy and harness am I using?
Harness 101 - There’s a lot of harnesses out there, but a lot of them are not the best options out there and can be very flimsy, which will cause frustration in your back door adventures. Out of all the styles that are out there, there are very good harnesses in the mix of mediocre ones. So how do you tell that you are getting a good harness?
First off, look at the material. You want something that is easy to clean, because no matter what you do, eventually you will have a little bit of a mess somewhere down the line. The most easily cleanable of course is non-porous materials but they are difficult to come by. Your next best option are harnesses that are made out of synthetic materials like vinyl based pleather which can be cleaned with toy cleaner or other disinfectants leaving it ready to play again. Harnesses can also be made out of leather, which is porous but with extra care can be cleaned with antibacterial solutions and then finished with a leather conditioner to keep the leather soft and supple. The other option and probably the easiest to clean up and use as many of them such as the Spareparts Joque Strap or Sportsheets Corset back harness line are machine washable. Toss it in and wash it with your regular clothes, line dry and you are ready to use again.
Second, you want to think about stability. While a flesh and blood penis is attached to the body, for strap on play we are asking a harness to support a toy that can often be quite heavy. Thin straps made solely out of elastic don’t provide enough support to handle most dildos which can weigh anywhere between half a pound all the way up to a couple pounds. It takes something pretty substantial to hold up a couple pound dildo so it’s secure enough to use. Nothing take the fun out of butt sex than dealing with a harness and toy combination that doesn’t want to do it’s job!
Good harnesses will have substantial strapping for the waist. Here if you are using a pleather or leather harness you want straps that are 1 1/2” to about 2” wide. This will give you enough stability for the harness triangle to rest comfortably against your pubic bone and not float or twist around when you have your harness. The straps that sit from the back of the triangle and run between your legs and around your thighs provide the additional stability of the bottom portion of the triangle. These straps can be heavier elastic and will still be just fine for keeping your new strap on in the place.
And finally we have fit. We want to make sure that your new harness is fitting you right. Never fear either, for the very best makers of strap on harnesses provide even plus size ladies with a comfortable and easy wearing size. Harnesses are adjustable and usually just come in two sizes: normal and plus size. There’s a huge range of adjustment for these so getting the perfect fit is very easy.
Now we have choice -
Strap-Ons ~ Vac-U-Lock or suction cup base?
Strap-on attachments come in two styles. The Vac-U-Lock System that’s made by Doc Johnson, an American Toy Company that was patented in the 70’s, or the more traditional system that uses dildos and vibrators with a suction cup base that is held onto the harness by a retaining ring or sometimes just by the stretchy ring itself. Both styles are good, and it simply goes for your preference. Many dildos that aren’t specifically made by the Vac-U-Lock system which do not have a suction base will actually be compatible with the Vac-U-Lock system by using the Vac-U-Lock Plug making harness compatible dildos. The other system, which uses rings is the easiest system to use, requiring no maintenance and supports a great many options as there are hundreds if not thousands of suction cup dildos (and a few vibrators) out there to choose from.
Now comes putting the two together to make your set up complete. With ring harness, you simply work the dildo’s suction cup base through the harness ring and then snap the ring into place using the keepers. Slightly more complicated - the Vac-U-Lock systems have you lubricate the hollow of the dildo with Vac-U-Lock Powder and then press the attachment and the plug together until it snaps. Harnesses like those made by Spareparts, have a heavy inner ring in which you simply feed your dildo through and it will anchor securely to the harness.
Butt play does require a little preparation before play, but it doesn’t require extensive enema flushing prior to enjoyment. A simple trip to the bathroom to make sure that you have defecated and then perhaps a mild water only enema of just a tiny bit of water to rinse is really all that is needed prior to engaging in anal play as the rectum is normally very clean with minimal feces anywhere that a dildo would be reaching.
Anatomy of an Anus and Rectum
The rectum and anus are the pieces of anatomy that you will working with for strap-on play. The external portion of the digestive tract, is where you enter through into the rectum after a somewhat tight curve. Past this area it opens up and on the front wall facing the stomach a few inches in is the prostate. This is the magic spot that you are aiming for, as it has been compared to the woman’s g-spot in sensitivity and will give men a non ejaculatory orgasm, which can be done repeatedly.
Lube while playing with the backdoor is EXTREMELY important, as the anus and rectum do not produce their own lubricant meaning that it’s imperative that you use lube for this venture so you don’t inflame or cause micro tearing of the sensitive mucosal layer of the rectum which can cause bleeding or pain, which is not fun. Our informative lube page can help you pick the perfect lube to get you started.